All tagged courtship

Male vs Female Dating Strategies

In an ideal world we would have a very well organized sexual market consisting of social systems that promote K-selected behaviour and the formation of stable marriages. We don't live in the ideal, so we must work with what we have. Failure is not an option.

Whatever dating and courtship strategies that we use must take into account the lack of a structured sexual marketplace. We will need to build our own structure and demonstrate far more autonomy than was previously required. That can be exhausting if we don't have a good strategy to facilitate our search.

A chaste courtship for K-selected people

We live in an age of conflicting messages on sex.

On one hand, women are encouraged to be “liberated;” to ride the cock carousel from puberty until they are in their mid thirties. News and entertainment propaganda advises women to “Sleep with 25 men before you marry”. College is seen as a time of sexual exploration where every depravity should be experimented with at least once.

Men too are encouraged to follow the example of PUAs (pick up artists) who spend their time “gaming” women into bed. Internet advertisements offer to teach you “that one trick that lets any man sleep with gorgeous women.” Monogamy is deemed a bad deal when you could be having sex with buxom, exotic beauties every weekend. 

Yet, when men and women follow the pressure to be promiscuous, they often end up unmarriable, broken, sad, hollow, sick, imprisoned, or dead. 

What is Dating and Courtship?

We have lots of sentimental, subjective ideas about romantic relationships. That's to be expected since the very act of falling in love tends to shut off our objective reasoning in a sea of happy, horney hormones.

Coordinating the seeming randomness of falling in love is a series of powerful social technologies that we call the Sexual Marketplace. Describing them that way might sound cold even mechanistic, however by thinking of dating and courtship as technologies can have a very positive impact on our romantic lives.