Ladies in Waiting: What's in it for me? A woman’s perspective on chaste courtship. [Video]

The so called “sexual revolution” brought on by female prescription birth control has had a huge impact on society and our culture over the last 50 years. Depending on your goals and what you want out of life, this “revolution” may not have had the positive impact on your life which the feminist narrative wants you to believe.

Chastity and abstention till marriage were once highly valued characteristics of a woman, but today they are seen as outdated religious practices. It’s unfortunate that most women have little to no education on why virginity is a virtue and that benefits of abstinence till marriage go far beyond being in God’s good graces. 

Not so long ago, and for a long time before that, the common relationship construct was courtship, marriage, sex, cohabitation, and children. Nowadays the norm seems to be sex, cohabitation, children, and MAYBE marriage sometime in the next decade – and that is only IF one of the partners doesn’t get bored and want to “upgrade” to someone else. These modern day relationships of being perpetual boyfriend and girlfriend in stagnant state would be your great, great, great-grandmother’s worst nightmare (that and her loved ones dying in war). It’s also your worst nightmare; whether you realize it or not, if you have dreams of being a mother and having a functional marriage then the modern relationship is very likely to fail you. 

Numerous studies over the last few years indicate that female happiness is close to an all-time low. Women are having their “mid-life” crises in their late 20’s and early 30’s when they realize that their massive college debt and impressive career paths have done nothing to serve their happiness in life, yet they have actually wasted their prime-time reproductive years. At this point the options are either to start popping Xanax and jump on the man-hating train, or to take a long hard look at your past decisions and get serious about working towards your family goals which will make you feel happy and content with life. Not to be too cliche, but the quote from Theodore Roosevelt “Nothing in the world is worth having or worth doing unless it means effort, pain, and difficulty” comes to mind.

So what are we to do in this time of dysfunctional relationships, depression, and unhappiness? What control do we have in such a polarized and degenerate society? Well, to start with, stop giving away the milk. The old colloquial phrase “Why buy the cow when the milk is free?” might be a little dated, but it is ever relevant. Even if you are not a virgin, it’s never too late to start practicing self-control and start abstaining from sex till you marry your future husband. Just because you’ve made mistakes in the past does NOT mean you should continue to make them in the future.

Being abstinent and chaste protect you against the obvious risks of sex: STD’s and babies. Many would argue that the bazillion forms of birth control available today could protect you from those risks, and they are almost right (only one form of birth control is 100% effective: abstinence), but there is one thing birth control cannot protect you from. Bonding. Sex is an extremely intimate act. No matter how much sex gets cheapened by society, women are biologically programmed to bond with the man they are sleeping with. Bonding can be an amazing thing; it can also be the blindfold covering a woman’s eyes. That blindfold prevents many women from seeing the red flags and warning signs that indicate they need to move on…. it makes it easy to get stuck with the wrong guy. 

Mothers and fathers have long been telling their daughters that “boys only want one thing”. The best way to find out whether that applies to the one/s interested in you, is to keep sex off of the table till marriage. If you’re dating a man and you tell him that you do not want to have sex till after marriage and he jumps ship, that’s a pretty good sign that he was not the one. On the flip side, if you find a respectable man whose values align with yours, and he is willing to wait for sex till marriage, you’re much more likely to receive a proposal in 6 months vs. 6 years.

History doesn’t always get thing right, but every once in awhile it does, and we need to question whether maybe we should try doing things like they did in the “good ‘ol days”.