Defeating Your Inner Bully

We have met the enemy, and it is us.

Inside of each of us is a bully. This bully pushes us around. Beats us up. Tells us we are failures, tells us we are worthless. He knocks us down, sits on our chest and refuses to let us get up. You can’t reason with this bully, you can’t trick him. The only thing you can do is fight him.

But we are afraid! Fighting our inner bully is tough work, what if we fail? 

That’s the bully’s voice coming out of your mouth.

The inner bully is a part of us, our self destructive inner monster. It wants us to fail, or better yet, never try. No one can save us from ourselves. We need to fight our own fight, and it’s not a one time battle. No matter how many rounds we go, there is always another one tomorrow. You can’t slay the monster, you can only contain him. We have to fight whether we are tired, hurting or distracted. 

Fighting our inner bully takes skill and determination. 

Cowards whimper in the corner, afraid to fight. Their short term view leads them to take narcotics, legal and illegal to escape the battle. They bury themselves in fantasy worlds, sex, parties, work, or any other thing that can help them to numb the pain of being beaten daily. They embrace the victim mentality, blaming everything and everyone for their problems.

Brave people grit their teeth, stare into the eye of the bully and fight. They refuse to give up. They have a long term view that helps them to keep at it, even if they lose a battle. They fight when they are tired and sore. They embrace personal responsibility. They own their lives and the outcomes they shape.

The world is full of people who are under control of their inner bullies. Only by learning to beat our inner bullies can we learn to control our world.

No one can have power over you unless you give it to them, not even your inner bully.

(I wrote this 7 years ago when I was first thinking about offering coaching services.)